Riina Naeris told "Ringvaade" of her years-long hope of overcoming her addiction alone, but it was the death of her partner, who had also struggled with alcohol, which was the final push she needed to seek help.

Now 54, Naeris said she has been battling alcoholism for nearly 20 years.

Last spring, she entered the "Lootuse küla" ("Hope village") center in Laitse, where she is currently part of a program along with 11 other women.

Program director Raiman Kukk told Ringvaade he "didn't remember having this many people taking part before."

Naeris's story is one of gradual addiction.

She arrived at Lootuse küla after her partner's tragic death. "He collapsed at the kitchen table. He then spent tow-and-a-half months on a life support machine, but his organs eventually gave out," she recalled.

"I can't bring him back, but I'm trying to fix myself," she went on.

For many years, Naeris had functioned as a functioning alcoholic, not recognizing the danger in social drinking.

Her first drink came much earlier, at 16: "It was a strawberry liqueur. I took three shots and was so sick afterward that I couldn't stop vomiting," she recalled.

While she apparently functioned at work, she said she gradually began justifying her drinking on days off, and it was this which soon spiraled out of control.

"I always found myself an excuse that I had deserved it somehow – tomorrow I don't have to go to work, so I can take a drink and try not to overdo things. Unfortunately, it didn't always work out that way, and then in the mornings I felt so bad,."

"Particularly if I had company,, things got out of hand. That's how it snowballed," she went on.

"I still hoped with all my heart and soul that I would manage, that I would swim out of it, but in reality, it's not that simple, you don't swim out," she admitted.

Though Riina managed to hold down her job for a while and to pay her bills, eventually she lost control over it and over her life.

Her younger son was moved out at just five years old; her older child had already been entrusted to the care of a relative.

Her partner also became violent towards her, on one occasion, leaving her unable to go outside for a month due to visible bruising.

Looking back, Naeris reflects that alcoholism consists of "a slow death."

"It can last you 15, 20 or 30 years," she noted.

As of now, she has completed the 1o-month Lootuse küla basic program, and is now able to help fellow sufferers there, "Ringvaade" reported. She also stays connected to the facility due to a fear or relapse.

"When you've thrown away 15 years of your life like that, this doesn't go away in just 10 months.

After completing the ten-month program at Lootuse küla, she now helps others in recovery. She admits staying involved out of fear of relapsing, saying, "You can't undo 15 years of your life in just ten months."

The Lootuse küla English-language website is here.

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