Three years ago, winter was especially difficult for Anna's family in Tartu County. Her oldest child was in third grade and their reluctance to go to school had become a clear problem the family needed to address.

"It was never expressed as 'I don't want to go to school,' but there was always some reason they couldn't go — a headache, feeling sick. It was probably caused by relationships at school. I think part of it was the relationships between the children. But I also felt that the relationships with adults at that school were unhealthy. I was asked to sort out my child a remarkable number of times. All of that left a mark because my child came to feel that they were to blame, that they caused problems, that they overreacted — that they were a problem child. Watching your child fall apart is very hard. Fortunately, I had the sense to seek help from specialists myself so we could get through it all," Anna said.

Estonia does not collect data on how many children experience what is known as school refusal. Parents have contacted the Rajaleidja support network about the issue more than 400 times during a school year. Teachers say they have seen the problem grow over time.

"If I look back over a 10-year period, there used to be one student every three years. Over the past five years, the number has gone from one student to 10," said Liina Ansberg, coordinator of learning support at Tartu Tamme School.

Specialists point to several possible causes. Bullying can drive children away from school, mental health problems have deepened, anxiety in society has increased and willingness to make an effort has declined.

"I also see a growing number of children who feel that the work or activity they do is never perfect, which in turn puts them in a very difficult mental state. Social media is part of the backdrop: It tells them they have to be perfect and good at everything," Ansberg said.

Jürgen Rakaselg, head of inclusive education at the Ministry of Education, said a loss of motivation is also fairly characteristic of mood disorders: Nothing seems particularly meaningful and energy levels are low. "It's no wonder, then, that school refusal develops. We tend to avoid effort and that has become widespread," Rakaselg said.

The experience of Peetri School in Tartu shows that children do not always find the help they need at their own schools. Peetri School offers home-based education, often to students whose families have already tried other options, such as help from specialists or changing schools.

Irja Toots, head of Peetri School's home-based education program, said 166 students are currently enrolled in it. The school cannot take any more, although there is a waiting list.

"About a third of the students we accept are in a critical situation by the time we take them in and their parents have no other options," Toots said.

Both Toots and Ansberg said some schools lack the specialists and space needed for smaller classes and individual lessons. Yet those options are needed, particularly when a class includes children with anxiety or sensitivity to light and sound.

"If mental health specialists, psychologists or psychiatrists recommend home-based education for a child, at least temporarily, our schools often have little flexibility to provide it. A number of countries in Europe and elsewhere have temporary measures and 21st-century technology that allow them to offer even remote learning. We disapprove of remote learning because we still remember how awful it was during the COVID-19 pandemic. But as a temporary measure, it can keep a student interested in learning, even if they have no desire to go to school. Sometimes that can save a life," Toots said.

Rakaselg said options for providing help exist, but not all schools use them.

"What I find extraordinary about Estonian education is that practices vary enormously even under exactly the same laws and with the same financial resources," he said.

Schools cannot expect additional state funding to hire specialists, for example. The ministry recommends that school operators look for solutions across their municipalities.

"If I look at a school that is completely full, with no room for another child, and try to find a solution only within that school, there won't be one. But that requires a closer look at what might work in that particular municipality," Rakaselg said.

Money cannot solve everything, either.

"Would money create a better atmosphere in schools, one that makes people want to come in, or solve mental health problems? No. Physical activity is something absolutely anyone can do. So is showing kindness to your colleagues. We could start there and it doesn't cost anything," Rakaselg said.

Tartu Tamme School has begun working out an approach suited to each child.

"In all these cases, our aim is to bring students back into the school environment step by step, even through arrangements such as coming into the school building at different times. We've also reached agreements with families to hold lessons in their environment at the Tamme library," Ansberg said.

For Anna's family, help from specialists and a new school that found a suitable approach to her child's difficulties made the difference.

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