Good girl mask could hide a plethora of problems at home

Estonian schools are often described as having a more "feminine face," since the majority of teachers are women and girls generally outperform boys academically. However, a study conducted by Estonian researchers revealed that a surprisingly large number of seemingly diligent girls are among the young people who drop out of school. This finding suggests that in large classes, teachers may not always recognize the problems hidden behind a student's outward appearance of success.
A person between the ages of 15 and 29 who is neither studying, working nor participating in any training program can be classified as a young person in a NEET (Not in Education, Employment or Training) situation. Mai Beilmann, an associate professor of empirical sociology at the University of Tartu, worked with Estonian data as part of an international study on vulnerable youth, including those in NEET situations. "We were looking for young people who had dropped out of school. To our surprise, we found quite a few young women who had been so-called model students in school," she recalls.
The study covered eight European countries, and the international research team examined the mechanisms that can lead young people into vulnerable situations, as well as what factors help empower them. In a recent conference presentation, Beilmann shared the findings specific to Estonia. The research team conducted 40 interviews in the fall and winter of 2021 and 2022 with former and current NEET youth aged 15 to 43. "There was an interesting divergence in perspectives within the research group. Internationally, there was resistance to the idea that academically successful young people could also be vulnerable," notes the associate professor.
The mask of excelling
As Mai Beilmann highlighted in her presentation, the Estonian school system appears to have a more "feminine face": there are more female teachers, and based on academic performance, girls tend to be seen as more successful. To Beilmann's surprise, the stereotype of the "model student" also emerged during interviews with former and current NEET youth. "They excelled academically, achieved high scores on exams and standardized tests, participated in competitions, behaved well and took part in extracurricular activities."
From the teacher's perspective, these students were ideal. However, the interviews revealed that behind this mask of diligence, there could be numerous hidden problems. According to Beilmann, the most extreme case came from a girl who experienced mental, physical and sexual abuse at home. "This went unnoticed at school because she was a model student. No one would have thought that something could be wrong with her... until she dropped out due to serious mental health issues," the associate professor noted.
Other reasons cited by interviewees for leaving school included difficulty adjusting, bullying and falling behind academically. "If a student had a long-term illness that kept them out of school, a lack of flexibility in making up missed work could lead to learning difficulties," Beilmann explained. For a so-called model student, this gap in learning could be traumatic enough to damage their mental health and ultimately cause them to drop out.
Bullying could also take a toll on a young person's mental health, according to Beilmann. For instance, one interviewee spoke of psychological abuse and how classmates isolated them. "Again, if the school does not address this issue and it escalates over time, the student may not be able to withstand the pressure," Beilmann pointed out.
However, she emphasized that the findings should not be used to place blame on schools for failing to notice girls' struggles. "Experiences of sexual abuse are precisely the kinds of things that victims tend to hide," she explained. Even in the most extreme case, the girl's relationships with her teachers were very positive, but what she experienced at home never reached the educators. "Diligence can be a very effective mask because if you're doing well, it's assumed that everything is fine and that you don't need extra attention," Beilmann concluded.
From bullying victim to counselor
Among other things, the study asked participants what long-term effects their past problems had on their lives. "The picture was very bleak. All of the young women in our study had various mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety disorders, suicidal thoughts or eating disorders," Beilmann pointed out. She acknowledged that the study specifically sought out more problematic cases.
However, Beilmann also emphasized in her presentation that the women studied had all attempted to address their issues. They actively sought and received help from professionals. "These diagnoses weren't self-imposed; depression or anxiety disorders were diagnosed by specialists," Beilmann clarified.
The Estonian sample included only young people who had tried to move forward in life and had re-entered education. "It's generally very difficult to reach young people in NEET situations. That's why we didn't manage to connect with those who were completely disengaged. Most of our participants were recruited from evening schools or adult secondary schools," the associate professor recalled. In other words, the sample was skewed toward individuals who placed importance on obtaining an education, even later in life.
Several respondents suggested that peer counseling could be a potential solution. "If teachers are overwhelmed and there isn't enough support staff, voluntary peer counselors who have faced similar challenges could provide advice and support," Beilmann noted. Many interviewees were also highly motivated to contribute to peer counseling themselves. "For some participants, it was a form of therapy in itself. Helping others allowed them to better come to terms with their own experiences," the associate professor concluded.
Help with youth mental health issues is available via the peaasi.ee website.
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Editor: Marcus Turovski