Children in Estonia generally start school at around seven years old, but Viktoriia Tkachuk, a psychologist at the Tartu Rajaleidja Center, explained in a video guide for "Let's Learn Together" that school readiness involves more than just a child knowing their letters and numbers.

Other factors include a child's emotional, social, cognitive, language and physical development, including their ability to focus, follow instructions, communicate and handle everyday tasks independently.

What matters most, Tkachuk said, is a child's overall, well-rounded development. A child who is curious, active, interested in learning, able to community and responsive to rules and requests is generally ready to start school.

"Other skills will develop along the way," she added.

Tkachuk said children should gradually learn to manage everyday tasks themselves, as independence can build confidence and reduce anxiety. Parents can help by involving kids in simple routines such as getting their school things ready in the morning.

The psychologist also advised encouraging a genuine interest in learning rather than drilling children on skills they'll need in school, including writing letters and numbers.

"The most important thing is to spark the child's interest," she said, warning that forced practice can ultimately backfire, leaving them tired and frustrated.

Starting school in a new language

Children starting school in a different language than those spoken at home face an entire extra layer of challenges, which Tkachuk said can leave even capable children feeling anxious, helpless or simply like an outsider.

Practicing communication skills at home can help, however, including learning basic Estonian phrases and roleplaying teacher-and-student situations in Estonian. Families can also make their own "My First 50 Estonian Words" dictionaries, and even watching cartoons and listening to music in Estonian can help.

At the same time, parents should also continue speaking their home language. Tkachuk said parents often worry this could cause their child to mix up languages or struggle to learn another one, but a strong first language can actually help children learn a second one.

"Your native language isn't an obstacle; it's a support," she emphasized.

As new first graders adjust to attending school, parents can help by talking about school positively, maintaining a predictable daily routine and making time each night to discuss how the day went.

"Children are very sensitive to their parents' emotions, and when parents are calm and confident, kids feel that support," Tkachuk said, suggesting encouraging messages like "Your teacher will help you if you have trouble understanding something."

A lot to handle

If a child says they don't want to go to school, she recommends responding with curiosity rather than jumping straight to arguing. Kids starting school have to navigate new relationships, social skills and a much bigger workload, all while adults can sometimes forget just how young they still really are.

Above all, the psychologist stressed, parents should avoid comparing them with others, as all children are different.

"Talk with your kid about their day," she said. "Ask what surprised them today, and who they played with at recess. Hold space for all their emotions."

If something has put your child off of school, ask what happened or what exactly they don't like.

"Let them be sad, angry or tired, and support them without criticism," Tkachuk said, stressing the importance of maintaining home as a safe environment for your child to be themselves. "Remind them that mistakes are normal and that we're all learning."

When it comes to homework, parents should support their child without taking over. They can explain instructions and check work together, but should let their child solve problems themselves, and praise effort rather than just results.

"Kids can quickly lose motivation when they feel there's no point in trying because their parent can just do it better anyway," Tkachuk explained.

A child refusing to do their homework should also be taken as a sign  — and an opportunity to talk to them.

"Tell them, 'I can see this is hard for you,'" she suggested. "'Let's figure out together what to do. Do as much as you can; it doesn't have to be perfect.'"

Helping kids make friends

Social skills develop through practice, Tkachuk said, and simply playing with other children provides valuable opportunities to learn how to communicate, resolve conflicts and cooperate.

"It can also help to talk through social situations together," she said. "If your child has a conflict with someone, talk about what happened without judging. Ask what they think about why the other kid acted the way they did, or how things could have gone differently."

Families should also talk to their kids about how various classmates may speak different languages at home and may need extra time to feel comfortable.

"They may avoid talking to other children even if they really want to because they are afraid of making linguistic mistakes," the psychologist explained.

"But sometimes," she added, "just one friend is all it takes for a child who speaks a different language to feel more comfortable in a new environment."

Ask for help too

While adjusting to starting school can take several months, if your child continues to struggle,  Tkachuk said it's worth seeking extra help.

"You can reach out to a psychologist, as well as contact a Rajaleidja center for educational advice and support," she said, adding that families can also talk to their child's teachers or school specialists.

"School is a big step toward independence, but the journey should be shared by the child, their parents and their teachers," Tkachuk said. "You are not alone in this process."

"Let's Learn Together" is a new online resource offering families practical guidance on navigating education in Estonia, from how the kindergarten and school system works to information on what additional help and resources are available.

Available in English, Estonian, Russian and Ukrainian, the site features articles, personal stories, podcasts and videos in which parents, young people and experts share their experiences with adapting to multilingual and multicultural life and education in Estonia.

All "Let's Learn Together" video guides include subtitle options on YouTube.

--

Follow ERR News on Facebook and X and never miss an update!