Estonian rowing star Allar Raja and cyclist Rein Taaramäe are both now reaching the point where, as athletes, they have to start thinking more seriously about what to do when their sporting careers come to an end. But what does the end of a professional sporting career mean for the members of a top athlete's family?

Hanna Taaramäe spends at least half the year in southern Europe, where her husband, professional road cyclist Rein, trains and competes with the Intermarche-Wanty cycling club. Lately, the couple's second home has mainly been Monaco.

"It's always good to be at home. Sometimes people think that the grass is greener elsewhere, but it's actually really good to be in Estonia," said Taaramäe. "I've been with Rein for fifteen years now – the older I've got, the more I've realized that I don't really miss anything except having [my dog] Motu and Rein by my side. Wherever they are, it's good – even if it that's in a hotel room somewhere on a French motorway."

"I was so young when we met, I was only in high school and when I graduated from high school we were already a couple. In fact, somehow, when my life was taking shape and I was growing up, it was happening with Rein already by my side. We had our own agreements and somehow life developed into this and things went so smoothly with him as a support person. It wasn't like I had to sacrifice my life for him in any way, Taaramäe continued.

Kerstin Raja and her husband, top Estonian rower Allar Raja, who have also been together for 15 years. The couple, who now have two children, six-year-old Rudolf and eight-year-old Ronja, also came to their own agreements early on in their relationship..

"When I first met him, I knew nothing about the life of an athlete, it was a totally different world for me. I had never been involved in sport myself," said Kerstin Raja.

"But when we started to make plans and things got more serious, we had a kind of contract, because I wanted to see where the future was going and I actually sent him a load of questions in a letter. From there, how long he was going to do the sport, I wrote down all the important questions, and he was just starting to think about what life he might have outside sport."

At the homes of both 40-year-old Allar Raja and his 44-year-old rowing teammate Tõnu Endrekson, endless hours have been spent recently debating whether or not to continue competing at the top level.

This week it was revealed that Raja and Endrekson will be going to this summer's Olympics in Paris. It will be Raja's fifth and Endrekson's sixth appearance at the games. That means that the rest of the Raja household will have to hold things together once again for the sake of his Olympic goal.

Allar Raja told "Pealtnägija" that he starts to get jittery a few weeks before a big event and may withdraw into himself. "Maybe I'm not so present all the time at home, the little things start to distract me," Raja said.

History is full of sad examples of high-flying sporting stars, who went downhill fast after their careers ended, with some even passing away well before their time. There are many reasons for this, but according to Tallinn University sports psychologist Snežana Stoljarova, it all begins with how and why a person's sporting life comes to an end.

"Studies show that there can be a multitude of different reasons. Starting with an athlete ending their career because they somehow lose the motivation to do sport. Or, perhaps they end their career for financial reasons, or their priorities change – maybe they want to be more involved in family life for example," said Stoljarova.

"There are a lot of reasons and how difficult it is to end a career, and how stressful that is, depends on those reasons and conditions."

"People can end their careers voluntarily, or in a way that is planned out, and then things will be a bit easier, as opposed to situations where a career ends unexpectedly and due to reasons beyond your control," Stoljarova added.

Few manage to break through to the top, and even fewer stay there for a long time, because younger and hungrier competitors are always waiting to take their place. The Estonian cycling community is now talking far more about 20-year-old rising star Madis Mihkels, who will miss out on the Tour of Italy (Giro D'Italia) this spring, than Rein Taaramäe, who won a stage in the same race back in 2016 or wore the leader's jersey for a few days during the Tour of Spain (Vuelta a España).

In a recent interview, 37-year-old Rein Taaramäe admitted that he has now become a mediocre cyclist. He has not clearly set a definite date for his retirement, but it will happen one day soon, he says.

"He's accepted that his best years are over and he's accepted why they're over, that there weren't the right people there for him at the right time when they needed to be, and actually he's still very good and gives 110 percent of himself all the time," said Hanna Taaramäe.

"Even if now the results don't seem to reflect that, is not down to a loss of motivation."

"And I think that if Rein is going to be at home more, then that's basically going to be from December 31 or January 1, when the contract is no longer there. In any case, so long as he has a contract, he will be abroad as much as possible, where there are better training facilities," she added.

According to Stoljarova, the end of a top athlete's career is a huge change and, in some ways also comes with certain risks. Therefore, it is always diligent to consciously prepare for it in advance.

"After all, a person who prepares in advance has a better chance of coping with this transition. It's a difficult transition, one way or another, because it's the end of one big, important thing in a person's life and the beginning of something new, which is quite naturally a worrying process for everyone," said the psychologist.

"But the better prepared we are, the smoother it will go. It's also important to do it wholeheartedly, but that shouldn't mean thinking about ending your career is a taboo. There's still a bit of a perception here that if an athlete starts to think about quitting, that's a bad sign," Stoljarova added.

Every relationship, to some extent, involves compromise: However, something that is talked about less frequently is the extent to which the partners of top athletes put their own lives on hold. The dynamics of a relationship change can also change after a top athlete retires from sport.

Kerstin Raja has been doing freelance work in marketing, though er main focus has always been on the home and making sure her children, Rudolf and Ronja, don't forget what their father looks like.

"That's also one of the reasons why I've been living this freelance life a lot, so that we can still be together as much as possible, and that's why I still make time to go to the training camps with Allar," said Kerstin Raja.

"Thanks to this, we've been able to travel with the children. Llast year we had as many as six weeks where we were in Italy and Portugal with the whole family."

"We haven't even had that typical trip with the family, a holiday trip, but instead we have camping trips," she said. "On top of that, he always has to let us know where he is. Yesterday morning the doping control came to visit us. I got the kids ready for kindergarten in peace, and then next door Allar was having his blood taken. But that's the reality of being an athlete, that's how it has to be done."

"At the same time, there are a lot of great things that come with this life, and the sporting community in general is so nice. I've made a lot of friends among women athletes /.../ and I wouldn't trade that for anything. It's been wonderful," said Kerstin Raja.

Hanna Taaramäe, who was also a top cyclist in her own right, took time off to be a stay-at-home mother for a while, before making a comeback in the sport a few years ago. Upon her return, Taaramäe won several events including the Estonian national championship. She now acts as a mentor, encouraging more and more women to take up cycling

In addition to that, she has also taken charge of building a new home outside Tartu, largely remotely.

"If you were to look at me, you probably wouldn't say or believe that I'm fascinated by construction. I'm interested in saws, cordless saws, and anything to do with technology and building. Laying a floor, building a terrace, you name it and I'm happy to do it," said Hanna Taaramäe.

"If Rein is the one with the golden feet, I always say I'm the one with the golden hands. Whatever needs fixing at home, whether it's a kitchen sink in Monaco or some pipes here in Estonia. I always start by trying to do it myself and only if I really can't do it, then I call someone in."

"Over the years, when I've had to be beside him as a welder, a builder, a car driver, a clothes repairer, an email writer, or a residence permit applicant, I think I've somehow developed stronger skills. Now, I'm the creative director for a company and that's really something that makes my eyes light up," added Hanna Taaramäe.

The Raja family now has a small house with a greenhouse and some chickens near Pärnu. Kerstin is looking forward to this summer's sporting events with great excitement. She is not too concerned about the future, as her husband already has a potential new career lined up as a development coach and the family has a long-term plan in place. Or do they?

"A real plan? It's very difficult to say," says Allar Raja. "Kerstin is pursuing different career options and possibilities in areas that she is really good at. I know what I'm good at today apart from sport and I can improve myself in that. Kerstin has helped me create that mindset because I kept saying that when the sport is over it's going to mean a job from eight to five, but then she tells me: 'No, it doesn't have to be like that!"

Kerstin Raja said she has no regrets about being married to a professional rower. "Every lifestyle has its pros and cons. And all things considered, we've always had a lot more pros than cons. Everybody has their dark days and their good days. I didn't just marry an athlete but a human being," she said.

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