The support group leaders in Tallinn and Tartu, who have undergone specialized training, are men themselves.

"You're in the company of men, and I can see that that really helps them open up," group leader Karl Teichmann said in an appearance on ETV's "Ringvaade."

"I'd say that the stereotype that Estonian men don't know how to talk, or don't want to or aren't ready, really doesn't hold true," he added.

"My world absolutely collapsed, and very profoundly," admitted Vahur, a member of the group, about the period following his divorce. "I'm glad I didn't do that most senseless thing. I felt like a huge failure. To be a failed man – as a man, as a partner, as a father to your child – those fears and that shame."

"These are men who have realized they need to work on themselves – that solutions won't come from the outside," said support group leader Kristjan Prii. "Unfortunately, reaching that realization is also something in life that takes time."

"The most important thing is to find the right people around you," Vahur said. "And they may not always be the people closest to you, because they're already always subconsciously on your side. That's why I decided to join this group – to talk in a neutral environment, without judgment."

On top of several psychology courses, Teichmann and Prii have completed peer counselor training as well. And both men have gone through tough breakups of their own.

"There's also been a lot of self-reproach," Prii acknowledged. "In some ways, you need to do that to understand where you went wrong. But you shouldn't get stuck in that."

He said that one rule that was established for meetings right from the start was that no advice be given.

"We never fully know anyone's background story, but we can always share when we notice a similar parallel," Prii explained. "We can say, 'This is how it went with me, I acted like such-and-such, and this was the result. Whether the other man will pick anything useful out of that is up to him."

More than just a paycheck

The support group's ten-week program covers topics including making arrangements for children and dividing shared property. All stages of the divorce crisis are addressed.

"Perhaps men haven't understood that we're in a new era, where more is needed than just bringing home a paycheck," Teichmann said. "You still need to learn how to communicate, how to more deeply discuss feelings, and to do so safely, so that both sides gain a solution, some benefit, that will move the relationship forward.",

"I think that by the time this group ends, these men will have turned into amazing, caring and self-respecting men, and who are a great catch," Prii added. "Keep an eye on men who are working on themselves, because that is very valuable."

"I'm in a fairly new relationship, and I'm in a relatively good place," said Aarne, another member of the support group. "I'd like to think that I've learned my lessons, so that I won't repeat them. I'm aware of what I need, the kind of life I want to live, the kind of relationship I want, and how to be there for my son."

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